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Say Hello To The Humming-Doctor

The Humming-Doctor & Medicine Degree Courses
Medicine degree courses with the Humming-Doctor. Illustrated by Lynda Richardson

Life in the healthcare habitat can be frenetic. Murphy’s law dictates that what can go wrong will go wrong; you’ll soon get used to suddenly becoming inundated with a plethora of tasks that descend upon you within mere seconds.

Though stressful scenario for many species, there is one in particular that is well-suited to this harsh environment…

How to get a peep of the Humming-Doctor

Students will normally encounter humming-doctors in more acute specialties. This is where sudden and urgent task-onslaughts are most abundant.

They are discerned from other species through how well they are coping with the heightened pressures. As well as this, the can be identified from how they move. Students will note that following Humming-Doctors requires much more effort than with other species.

Let the the Humming-Doctor take you under its wing

Unmatched in terms of speed over a short distance, Humming-Doctors use this supersonic velocity to flit from location to location, patient to patient.

This means that students assigned to shadow this species when studying for their various Medicine degree courses must keep up with the humming-doctor’s roadrunner-on-caffeine pace. Whilst a medical student may feel self-conscious when jogging behind a humming-doctor who is gliding along effortlessly at Mach IV, you would feel more awkward having to check room by room for their target, or waiting in a hall in the vain hope that the individual doubles back on their zigzagging route.

Why does a Humming-Doctor hum?

Contrary to that age-old classic joke, unlike others of its species this humming-doctor has not forgotten the words. An iconic feature of the species is their speed of conversation. The Humming-Doctor’s words per minute rate is just under that of an Eminem rap played at fast forward. It changes topic from patient A, to patient B, to Dr A, to the hungover student shadowing them… to what they’re doing for lunch, to patient A’s blood results, and so on.

Students unskilled in listening and note-scribbling-on-the-run might struggle in these circumstances, the species quickly leaving them in the dust. At this point, the student is forced to ask the humming-doctor repeat themselves. This is a concession of unworthiness that can sometimes be perceived as ignorance- be warned!

Stay on the Humming-Doctor’s good side

The mood of the species is hugely variable, and the perception of not being paid attention to can irk individuals of a more stressed-out  disposition. Sadly, accurate notation and learning are more important than any one student’s pride. You must accept your fate and take any scorn on the chin. Don’t worry, the Humming-Doctor is probably too busy to be overly critical anyway.

Work hard and stay chirpy

Though working with the species requires extra effort, students will learn faster, and receive more skill practice opportunities. Humming-doctors are happy to offload a portion of their activities, such as blood taking and rewriting drug charts – trivialities for the species,  but vital research for any med student preparing for OSCE examinations.

Practice is needed to master such skills and tagging onto a humming-doctor means opportunities present themselves thick and fast throughout the day. If you can fly with the Humming-Doctor, then everything else will seem at a snail’s pace.

Uploaded by Eric on Friday 1 April 2016

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