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Meet The Golden Goose Consultant

Study Medicine with a little help from the Golden Goose Consultant, illustrated by Lynda Richardson
Study Medicine with a little help from the Golden Goose Consultant, illustrated by Lynda Richardson

Few healthcare habitat encounters are as rewarding as one with a golden goose consultant. Whether through fate or searching, hardworking students should seek out this sought-after species in the hopes of claiming the treasures that these magnificent medical professionals have to offer.

How do you find a golden goose?

More frequently found in the ecosystem’s less anarchic departments (try dermatology or general practice – golden geese thrive in these calmer environs), they can be identified by their inviting manner and almost immediate offering of golden eggs.

What will they offer you?

Golden eggs commonly received from the species can include one-to-one teaching opportunities, skills practice, contact details for other consultants and even the rarest of treasures – offers of work experience. The bonus knowledge gleaned from these gifts is invaluable to a student’s learning, making encounters with golden geese some of the most lucrative of a student’s entire career.

How to keep them happy

Once a student accepts these gifts, the Golden Goose becomes further inclined to produce more and more treasures, much to the delight of the recipient. To maximise rewards reaped from these scenarios, student’s must respond with positivity and enthusiasm, further “egging” on the generous species to lay more golden delights.

By contrast, responding negatively, or worse, apathetically (:o), is detrimental to the experience, disheartening the goose into producing fewer gifts. If a student wants to accept a gift but is physically unable to (e.g. you simply must go to quidditch practice), the offer can be graciously declined without majorly disheartening the golden goose. However, persistent rejection increases the student’s risk of missing out on rewards.

Don’t ruffle them up the wrong way…

Like all other species of consultant, golden geese are extremely hardworking. They therefore may become overwhelmed by the demands of work, and could become hostile towards students if they persist too aggressively in demanding gifts.

Like their counterparts in the real word, once hostile, these geese can be absolutely terrifying – like a velociraptor with a stethoscope. Patience with regards to receipt of gifts is advised – even if the goose is too hassled during an encounter to produce any eggs, this won’t always be the case. Be patient and wait for the correct opportunity to clear the coop.

Be wary of sharing

Students may be tempted to boast of their find with their comrades, but must be wary, for this can provoke said comrades to seek out said fabled golden goose themselves. Consequently the golden goose may begin offering gifts to other students, reducing the number of gifts that you may receive. Spreading the treasures is a noble gesture, but sometimes it simply pays to be selfish. If tempted to discuss encounters, simply bring up the Consultasaurus Rex (stay tuned to meet this rare beast) that you worked with last month. They’re welcome to take him off your hands.

Uploaded by Eric Richardson on 26 February 2016

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