Supporting Your Child from Abroad: International Medical Student Parents' Practical Guide

Making the move

Your child will have worked so hard, probably for years, to make a successful medical school application and then get the grades they need, so your first step should always be to celebrate! There are then lots of things to do even before they set foot on a plane to make sure the move is as smooth as possible. It’s worth thinking things through in advance, especially as you may not have a lot of time between grades coming through and the course starting. Some things to think about are: 

• Transport: will your child need to get a driver’s licence, and even a car, in the new country? If they’ll be using public transport, should you get a season ticket in advance (or might they be able to use it for free, like with Scottish free bus travel for under 22s)? If they’ll need a bike, should they bring theirs or buy one when they move? Medical students often have longer commutes to clinical placements, so it’s worth bearing this in mind. 

• Phone contracts: make sure to set your child up with a SIM or eSIM for when they arrive, especially if you won’t be travelling with them! 

• Visas: if your child will need a visa or other documents to travel, they may well need some help – their university will be a good port of call as they will manage this every year.   

• Packing: what do they want to take, and how will they get in there? Two large suitcases and a backpack is probably the absolute maximum any one person can manage by themselves on a longer journey. Special, bulky items like musical instruments may be better shipped separately or bought after they arrive (and forget about textbooks, as most courses will now have online versions and library copies) 

Have a chat with your child about how much time they might want to settle in before university starts and if they want family to go with them. Everyone is different, so see how you can compromise if your views are different from theirs. Having a week or two to get set up before the course starts can be really helpful logistically, but it can also be lonely, and some university accommodation may not allow students to move in early. 

Fresher’s fair and settling in

The first few weeks of university are a whirlwind, with lots of social events to help people get settled in. Medical school is even busier as they often start with a full course load from day one, so everyone is exhausted. Bear this in mind and be understanding if your child has less time to catch up than you think, especially across time zones. 

It’s worth having a discussion in advance about managing communication while your child is abroad to avoid tensions later. No plan survives contact with the enemy, so you may find you need to rethink this over your child’s degree. Medical students will spend the last two or three years of the course mainly working in hospitals with different schedules as well. 

After the business of Fresher’s, many students experience the ‘six week slump’ when the excitement has worn off and the intensity of the academic work ramps up. You might find it useful to plan to visit your child around the 6-8 week mark to stave this off – and it’s much easier to manage radio silence during Fresher’s if you know you’re seeing them soon. 

Ways to be there remotely

It’s difficult to show someone you care when you can’t be there in person and time zones may make it challenging to have long catchups. Some ideas you might find helpful are: 

• Sending your child low-pressure updates, like photos of your family pet, that they can reply to when they’re awake, so you’re still regularly chatting; 

• Posting them a postcard or a small treat, like snacks they can’t get abroad, as a pick me up; 

• Offer to plan things when you come to visit or have other things in mind as well as seeing them, so it’s not all on them. 

Supporting with academic stress

It can be really difficult to see your child going through stressful times when you’re not there, and studying medicine does mean they will have a high academic bar to clear. Some medical schools start summative exams (which count towards your grade) after the first term, so three or four months into university. It’s worth asking your child in advance what their schedule looks like so you know when the crunch points are and can offer some extra help.

You might also want to avoid visiting in study periods, even though that’s when your child doesn’t have classes, so they don’t feel torn between spending time with family and making the most of the study break. Plan trips for after the exams instead! 

Medical degrees are academically challenging and not everyone can be top of the class, even though all medical students are high achievers. Bear this in mind and make sure your child knows you love them no matter what. If they do need to resit exams, this can be more complex as an international student with visas and needing to return over the summer, so make sure you know exactly how it works.